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Gone Away Too Soon!!!

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Writing this post on Avi’s B’Day couldn’t have been harder. Without your presence Uncle this doesn’t seem like a B’Day. From morning we have been trying to act normal, but it’s so hard to pretend like everything is okay. But am sure Uncle you would be showering Avi with all your blessings today and am even more sure you’re very proud to have had a son like Avi today.

My Husband’s Father passed away on 19th February after a long battle with Cancer.

It’s been a week exactly. Last week, this time your physical presence left us. It still feels like a bad dream. It still feels like you will walk in through the main door and flash your trademark smile. You were gone too soon, Uncle.

The past two months in the hospital see you go through phases of pain, suffering, willpower to overcome anything that may beat you down still linger fresh in my mind. I walked into the hospital few days back to collect some documents and I could strongly feel your presence. I still wished I was on my daily visit to ICU bed no 5 to check on your vitals. I still wished I could see your heart rate beating on the monitor. I still wish you were around.

I still remember my last conversation with you, when you said “winners don’t cry,losers do”. You said, don’t cry when I go, I may not reach heaven then! Death never scared you, you were willing to fight it off. You were ready to fight off the cancer 2nd time round too. But why did you give up, angers me everyday. Why did you stop fighting. So many questions I want to ask you. You were gone too soon.

7 days are gone, but you have left us with memories of a lifetime. Every night for the last few days we sit around your photo and talk about all the good times. We feel you can still hear us, though you’re not present with us physically your presence can be felt at every corner of the house. All of us are trying hard to fight back tears, you wouldn’t have liked it.

We left no stone unturned to save you, but you were taken away too soon. I wish you had fought harder, but maybe you’re in a better place now, pain free looking down upon on all of us.

You always treated me like a daughter, never made me feel like a daughter-in-law. More like a friend. There was never a day which passed by that you made me feel otherwise. You welcomed me into the family with open arms, made me feel at home from the day I married your Son. You supported me whenever I needed a helping hand, you were there whenever I needed your presence even without asking. That’s what set you aside from everyone else. You were always there for everyone.

Day by day as people come to offer their condolences, all we hear is high regard and respect for you. Our hearts beam with pride. You’ve left a mark in everyone’s life that it’s impossible to overcome this irreplaceable loss.

The irony of life, but I’ve had the most amount of conversations with you in the hospital. When you were first diagnosed with Cancer, you were chilled out. You treated it like a normal cold and fought it out if your system. 2nd time around you were chilled out too, and wanted to fight back this time as well. But before you were even given a chance to fight, you were gone.

There isn’t a second in everyone’s mind for the last few days that we wish all this never happened. You were one of the happiest and positive human beings I’ve ever come across in my life. Where are you today??

You started off with nothing and reached heights in your lifespan. Your life story inspires me everyday to achieve whatever I desire in Life. Perform or Perish were words you stuck by always.

You inspire me everyday to be a better person, to work hard, to be sincere, to be a good human being, to do good and expect nothing in return. I wish and hope to live up to the expectations you had from me.

It makes me really proud to have been you’re Daughterinlaw and I cherish all the good times. We miss you Uncle terribly, more than words can say. We are trying to find strength in your memories to move on.

Image courtesy : pinterest.com

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Everyday is a Good Day when you RUN!!!

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So the past few months have been a Humpty Dumpty roller coaster ride for me. Mostly I’m a very happy and positive person but the last few months have seen a newer version of “me”. I couldn’t relate to this new ” ME” to be honest! I was acting and behaving like a truck had hit me, I was in constant fear and the list was endless.

In the meanwhile before all this drama started, I had started running in April 2014. I never ran in my life, I had an aversion towards sports in school except for basketball. So, why did I want to run now was the big question!! Well, a few months before that, I had participated in the Pinkathon breast cancer 3k run and finished it in 28.49minutes. Not bad for a starter and with no prior know-how in running. When I had registered for the run I registered mainly for the Pinkathon T-shirt (I know I’m MAD). After the run, something hit me, its like when you get addicted to dope (I don’t like relating running to dope but just to give the gist of it) and you can’t have enough of it. THAT!

I wanted to explore this craziness a lil further. I joined a running group and voila, there started my running journey. My first day of the training session and I had butterflies in my stomach. When I met the group, back of my head, I kept telling myself what have I got myself into, these guys are experienced runners and look at me. BLEH state of mind totally!

First day done, I got into the groove and was getting better. I started experiencing pain (Obviously I had been a couch potato for long enough) but I didn’t allow the discomfort to get the better of me, I just kept going. All of a sudden cuz of my Father-in-law’s illness, I had to take a break for a month. During the entire 1 month in and out of hospitals, if there was one thing I wanted badly, it was to “RUN”. I just didn’t understand this addiction yet then!

Got back home after a month and I knew I had to start from scratch. I didn’t want to start from scratch. I felt like crap. I kept questioning myself “WHY ME”. I kept telling myself, it’s the first time I’ve ever sought anything so badly, so why make me go through all this. I resumed running, but something wasn’t right. I started experiencing lots of pain, excruciating pain and I fell sick. I wanted to jump off the cliff, like seriously (Not literally, but yeah that was the feeling). I was asked to take rest for two weeks and go for a consultation.

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Image courtesy: keepcalmrun.tumblr.com

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I hate hospital visits. They say medical professionals are the worst patients, how true I’m a living example. I kept pushing the visit with a hope that I will be fine. But, no the pain kept increasing and I had no choice but to visit the Doc. I was literally shitting bricks. I visited two orthopedics and a sports therapist. Back of my mind, I started running versions of what the doctor might tell me “Oh, you can’t run” ““You have to take a break” “There is some problem” and the likes. The problem with medicos is we know it all and think of all the possible ailments we can surface with. Sucks to know it all in such cases. I just wanted to get done and know the end result. Thanks to my stars, everything was fine, just mild stiffness and I was given the go ahead (I think the person sitting up there, knew how desperately I wanted this and decided to be on my side, phew) I literally screamed in happiness when I walked out of the doctor’s clinic.

I got back to training and today I ran a 5k. When I started initially I was in self-doubt. I didn’t know if I was ready yet to take the leap. But I did, I completed the run and something really strange happened afterwards. I got teary eyed and was holding back tears. Lot of emotions running through my peanut size head. I hate tears and I don’t like crying. I had tears not because I was in pain, but because I was happy. Really really happy. Over the past few weeks, I had been beating myself up over not being able to run I guess I let go of all those emotions today. All these days whenever anyone expressed how happy he or she was after completing a 10k or a HM or FM, I could never relate much to it. But today I understood how its feels, why there is excitement, why there is so much happiness, why there are so many emotions running through. Till date I never had a strong answer why I love running, today I do. Running makes me happy, it brings a smile on my face, the pain the soreness bring a smile on my face, it clears my mind and I feel like a free bird. This post is dedicated to my Father-in-law. I really respect and look upto him. I was shaken up when I heard he wasn’t in the pink of health. I became really angry, because I felt he didn’t deserve to suffer. But he fought his battle like a true fighter and today I felt I fought my little battle to get back to form as well.

I’ve never been this happy, even when I graduated from college or got my 1st job. Running an addiction and it’s here to stay. These are small leaps of victory, I have miles to go, but I know I will reach there one day. I wanted to write this post because you may do a single thing many times in life, but there’s nothing like the first time, huh. From here on there is no stopping or looking back again. I am out on this beautiful journey.

I cannot end this post without mentioning this. I don’t take names on my blog for obvious reasons, but H & A, if I’ve reached this small teeny weeny milestone today it’s only because of you’ll. Respect and Gratitude. You’ll have got me hooked onto this crazy adrenaline rush called “ Running”. The group I run with are a bunch of fun, amazing people, that’s why maybe I enjoy it even more.

I train with this group called Protons Running, you can check them out on FB. They are amazing people, amazing mentors, amazing energy and infectious ☺

This quote totally defines my love for running!!

“I run because if I didn’t, I’d be sluggish and glum and spend too much time on the couch. I run to breathe the fresh air. I run to explore. I run to escape the ordinary. I run to savor the trip along the way. Life becomes a little more vibrant, a little more intense. I like that.”-Dean Karnazes

A Mix of Tales!!!

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Life is like a game of Football where you score a goal at times, where you loose at times, overcome your fears and still face the world.

I might have written about 5 posts in the last 10days but ended up scrapping all of them. Just didn’t feel like uploading a post. Finally, today I felt the need to write one. This post is straight from the heart so bear with me.

First things first, my father-in-law is recovering  pretty well, yeah, he kicked the cancer out and hopefully it doesn’t return ever again. Man, it was a tough two months I don’t want to be in that place ever again. Trust me the feeling sucks!

It’s been over 3weeks now since we’ve gotten back home and gotten back to our normal routine. Well, I don’t think I’ve still gotten back to my normal self. It’s so strange and weird, but the last two months have hit me hard and they seem to be haunting me till date. Sleepless nights, weird and ridiculous thoughts, fears out of nowhere have been my best friends for the last 3weeks precisely. It’s funny because I’ve never lived life in fear and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing in the last 3weeks. I’ve become an emotional wreck, something I never was, I hate tears I hate crying and now I cry at the drop of a hat. Sheesh!!

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The last 3weeks I wasn’t able to relate to myself. Weak, emotional, scared, worried, dull, no interest in anything is the new side of me which I saw in the last few weeks after coming back. Trust me, I hated it, because I am a really happy person and here I was behaving like a truck had hit me. I didn’t want to speak to anyone about this, but I finally did. There is always that person in your life whom you call “my person” apart from your family.  For me, it’s my best friend. Finally 2days back, I made a frantic call to N and I couldn’t speak, all I did was break down and cry. She kept quiet till I finished and didn’t utter a word. See that’s what best friends are for, they don’t judge you when you cry. After my whole melodrama we laughed for close to an hour and I knew there itself that I am fine now. I AM BACK. I just had to speak to her and let my heart out, I knew things would fall in place.

Having dealt with a lot of difficult situations in life and emerged strong always, I failed to understand why I became so weak this time around. Instead of being a strength to my husband whose parent was ill, he became my strength so that I would not crumble. But yeah, you can’t be strong all the time! So the best msgd me yesterday saying bounce back to being the positive and happy person you are, well yes I’ve bounced back for sure. No one deserves to be sad, everyone should be happy.

In all this craziness I’ve been beating myself up that I haven’t been able to get back to running properly. I don’t know, but this is something I really want for myself. I’ve never enjoyed anything as much as I’ve enjoyed running. I hurt my knees, but I know I will fight the pain and get back there. When you want something really bad and you see no progress it puts you down majorly, but hey I am no quitter.

Oh, and how can I forget, so I got diagnosed with carpal tunnel in my right wrist today. How do I feel?? Pretty good actually, its okay bitches bring it on and I will fight this too. If the pain in my hand gets severe I may require surgery, but I don’t want to think about that now. It will all be well.

10 more days to go for my B’day, yayyy. I love B’days and I almost hit someone who said I turn 30 this year. Sheesh, no way I still have 2more years to hit the thirties. Let me enjoy the twenties till then. So the husband is taking me on a mini getaway to Goa to bring in my B’day. I am totally looking forward to this Lil break, moreover, I love Goa and I can’t wait to get 3more tattoos inked again. I’ ve never wanted anything on my B’day ever, but this time round I want to be a good runner that’s what I want for myself.  My Mom always tells me I have a beautiful smile and that represents who I am, well, I am not too sure of the smile but I am glad to be smiling again. Happy tales, life is good, life is beautiful. Keep smiling, always 🙂

Happily Ever After K & P !!!

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One of my closest is getting married tomorrow, and it breaks my heart to know we will not be present to witness the cute fairytale wedding. I was the most excited when I got to know about their wedding, I still am, but I just wish I could be there to witness it.

We may not be there in person, but our best wishes are always with you guys. Hope lil T is making up for our absensce.

Dear K so tomorrow you get married, yayy so finally you can change your Facebook status from “In a relationship” to “Married”. Now that you’ll be a married man in less than 24hours, learn the art of saying yes for everything (even when you want to say NO):)

Please make a note, the Wife is “always” RIGHT 😉 It’s nature’s Law, don’t try to play with it 🙂

Dear P, don’t worry you’re marrying a guy who will treat you like a Princess 🙂

The Secret for every Happy Marriage is, well its a secret so go find your Secret 🙂

Jokes apart, have fun guys and enjoy all the pampering cuz after tomorrow nobody will give you VIP treament 😉

Have a wonderful day tomorrow and may you both get to have the Fairytale Wedding you”ll have dreamed of, our best wishes are always with you”ll. Wishing you both only love, happiness and togetherness always 🙂 God Bless 🙂

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Love and Laughter always

Happy Holidays

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Dear Santa,

I love December and you know why. I get to eat yummilicious rum soaked plum cakes and endless bottles of sparkling wine. I have two wishes for this year, a bank balance that will never go empty ( sigh, I don’t have to work this hard then ) and a magic pill that will never make me grow fat ( I will never have to worry which diet to follow next then ). OkayThanksBye

Wishing you’ll a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year from the Mrs and Mr.

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Love and Laughter always

50 Shades of Love

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So raping a woman in India is still considered okay and unpunishable but loving a person of the same sex can put you behind bars???

Let me get this straight what do we call this?? Hypocrisy maybe!!

Love has many shades and is free for all be it a male or a female. We are no one to judge homosexuals! Enough said!

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Love and Laughter always

You’ve grown younger by a year!

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There are very few Women who inspire me in my Life one is my Mom and another one of them is my Aunt. We often joke that we are a crazy family. As a kid I always looked forward to the letters she wrote to me sitting 4000miles away. Thanks to whatsapp now I keep bugging her most of the time.

Jokes apart, there are a lot of things I’ve learnt from her in life (I’ve never told her this till date btw). Her value for education and to stand on one’s own feet inspires me to be an independant person every day. She makes me beleive that life isn’t a bed of roses and only hardwork is the key to being successful in everything we do. Her nononsense attitude has taught me not to take anything for granted. Lastly and most importantly I’ve learnt to value education and make the best of it from her.

She inspires me every single day the last being when she did an MBA when I was pursuing mine. In my head I was like oh my gosh what do I need to study next if my aunt is studying at this rate. Today she grows another year younger, I beleive age is a number and as you celebrate your birthday every year you grow younger by a year. Happy B’day Pinny, may you have the best year ahead and keep inspiring everyone around you. (Damn I never knew it would be this tough to write about you 😉 )

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Ps: These doodles are a creation of my not so overly talent but still!

Love and Laughter always

Bald and Badass

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Now hair is something which is really tricky. You either have hair as thin as a leaf or as thick as fur. The husband has always had envied eyes eyeing his head full of hair with the occasional ” you’re lucky dude”

Till recently, when he noticed his hair was falling all over the ground he went berserk.He made frantic calls to the best trichologists in town to get the “hair” sorted.

At then end the best way to avoid hair-fall is to go bald he felt so.

Have a look!

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Love and Laughter always