Tag Archives: family

Gone Away Too Soon!!!

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Writing this post on Avi’s B’Day couldn’t have been harder. Without your presence Uncle this doesn’t seem like a B’Day. From morning we have been trying to act normal, but it’s so hard to pretend like everything is okay. But am sure Uncle you would be showering Avi with all your blessings today and am even more sure you’re very proud to have had a son like Avi today.

My Husband’s Father passed away on 19th February after a long battle with Cancer.

It’s been a week exactly. Last week, this time your physical presence left us. It still feels like a bad dream. It still feels like you will walk in through the main door and flash your trademark smile. You were gone too soon, Uncle.

The past two months in the hospital see you go through phases of pain, suffering, willpower to overcome anything that may beat you down still linger fresh in my mind. I walked into the hospital few days back to collect some documents and I could strongly feel your presence. I still wished I was on my daily visit to ICU bed no 5 to check on your vitals. I still wished I could see your heart rate beating on the monitor. I still wish you were around.

I still remember my last conversation with you, when you said “winners don’t cry,losers do”. You said, don’t cry when I go, I may not reach heaven then! Death never scared you, you were willing to fight it off. You were ready to fight off the cancer 2nd time round too. But why did you give up, angers me everyday. Why did you stop fighting. So many questions I want to ask you. You were gone too soon.

7 days are gone, but you have left us with memories of a lifetime. Every night for the last few days we sit around your photo and talk about all the good times. We feel you can still hear us, though you’re not present with us physically your presence can be felt at every corner of the house. All of us are trying hard to fight back tears, you wouldn’t have liked it.

We left no stone unturned to save you, but you were taken away too soon. I wish you had fought harder, but maybe you’re in a better place now, pain free looking down upon on all of us.

You always treated me like a daughter, never made me feel like a daughter-in-law. More like a friend. There was never a day which passed by that you made me feel otherwise. You welcomed me into the family with open arms, made me feel at home from the day I married your Son. You supported me whenever I needed a helping hand, you were there whenever I needed your presence even without asking. That’s what set you aside from everyone else. You were always there for everyone.

Day by day as people come to offer their condolences, all we hear is high regard and respect for you. Our hearts beam with pride. You’ve left a mark in everyone’s life that it’s impossible to overcome this irreplaceable loss.

The irony of life, but I’ve had the most amount of conversations with you in the hospital. When you were first diagnosed with Cancer, you were chilled out. You treated it like a normal cold and fought it out if your system. 2nd time around you were chilled out too, and wanted to fight back this time as well. But before you were even given a chance to fight, you were gone.

There isn’t a second in everyone’s mind for the last few days that we wish all this never happened. You were one of the happiest and positive human beings I’ve ever come across in my life. Where are you today??

You started off with nothing and reached heights in your lifespan. Your life story inspires me everyday to achieve whatever I desire in Life. Perform or Perish were words you stuck by always.

You inspire me everyday to be a better person, to work hard, to be sincere, to be a good human being, to do good and expect nothing in return. I wish and hope to live up to the expectations you had from me.

It makes me really proud to have been you’re Daughterinlaw and I cherish all the good times. We miss you Uncle terribly, more than words can say. We are trying to find strength in your memories to move on.

Image courtesy : pinterest.com

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A Mix of Tales!!!

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Life is like a game of Football where you score a goal at times, where you loose at times, overcome your fears and still face the world.

I might have written about 5 posts in the last 10days but ended up scrapping all of them. Just didn’t feel like uploading a post. Finally, today I felt the need to write one. This post is straight from the heart so bear with me.

First things first, my father-in-law is recovering  pretty well, yeah, he kicked the cancer out and hopefully it doesn’t return ever again. Man, it was a tough two months I don’t want to be in that place ever again. Trust me the feeling sucks!

It’s been over 3weeks now since we’ve gotten back home and gotten back to our normal routine. Well, I don’t think I’ve still gotten back to my normal self. It’s so strange and weird, but the last two months have hit me hard and they seem to be haunting me till date. Sleepless nights, weird and ridiculous thoughts, fears out of nowhere have been my best friends for the last 3weeks precisely. It’s funny because I’ve never lived life in fear and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing in the last 3weeks. I’ve become an emotional wreck, something I never was, I hate tears I hate crying and now I cry at the drop of a hat. Sheesh!!

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The last 3weeks I wasn’t able to relate to myself. Weak, emotional, scared, worried, dull, no interest in anything is the new side of me which I saw in the last few weeks after coming back. Trust me, I hated it, because I am a really happy person and here I was behaving like a truck had hit me. I didn’t want to speak to anyone about this, but I finally did. There is always that person in your life whom you call “my person” apart from your family.  For me, it’s my best friend. Finally 2days back, I made a frantic call to N and I couldn’t speak, all I did was break down and cry. She kept quiet till I finished and didn’t utter a word. See that’s what best friends are for, they don’t judge you when you cry. After my whole melodrama we laughed for close to an hour and I knew there itself that I am fine now. I AM BACK. I just had to speak to her and let my heart out, I knew things would fall in place.

Having dealt with a lot of difficult situations in life and emerged strong always, I failed to understand why I became so weak this time around. Instead of being a strength to my husband whose parent was ill, he became my strength so that I would not crumble. But yeah, you can’t be strong all the time! So the best msgd me yesterday saying bounce back to being the positive and happy person you are, well yes I’ve bounced back for sure. No one deserves to be sad, everyone should be happy.

In all this craziness I’ve been beating myself up that I haven’t been able to get back to running properly. I don’t know, but this is something I really want for myself. I’ve never enjoyed anything as much as I’ve enjoyed running. I hurt my knees, but I know I will fight the pain and get back there. When you want something really bad and you see no progress it puts you down majorly, but hey I am no quitter.

Oh, and how can I forget, so I got diagnosed with carpal tunnel in my right wrist today. How do I feel?? Pretty good actually, its okay bitches bring it on and I will fight this too. If the pain in my hand gets severe I may require surgery, but I don’t want to think about that now. It will all be well.

10 more days to go for my B’day, yayyy. I love B’days and I almost hit someone who said I turn 30 this year. Sheesh, no way I still have 2more years to hit the thirties. Let me enjoy the twenties till then. So the husband is taking me on a mini getaway to Goa to bring in my B’day. I am totally looking forward to this Lil break, moreover, I love Goa and I can’t wait to get 3more tattoos inked again. I’ ve never wanted anything on my B’day ever, but this time round I want to be a good runner that’s what I want for myself.  My Mom always tells me I have a beautiful smile and that represents who I am, well, I am not too sure of the smile but I am glad to be smiling again. Happy tales, life is good, life is beautiful. Keep smiling, always 🙂

Fighters and Survivors!!!!!

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I didn’t want to write something personal on my blog but the past 25days have been emotionally, mentally and physically draining that I felt maybe I would feel better putting it down in words. The last 25days have been crazy. My very cheerful, always smiling and happy Father-in-law was diagnosed with intermediate stage cancer. The first thought that struck me was why Him?? I guess all of us feel that way when a storm strikes. This question kept ringing in my head,but I found no answers. Most of the times, we don’t have answers for questions we have. My Father-in-law was scheduled to have an intense,complex surgery to get rid of the cancer. Three days prior to the surgery he became really quiet. I think he had a lot of questions too unanswered on his mind.A day before the surgery he gave me a book to read and said “Nobody else will read this book, but I know you will”.

On the day of surgery as well he was quiet, he didn’t say anything. While he was being wheeled out to the OT he remained calm, he didn’t look at anyone. Before the OT doors shut I think he looked at my Mother-in-law with a reassurance “I’ll be fine, don’t worry”. My Mother-in-law had tears in her eyes, we left her alone for a few minutes to calm down and she said “He will be fine”.

We all kept telling ourselves he will be fine but deep within all of us were worried. The surgery was a very complex surgery,took almost 8 hours for the surgery to finish. Those 8 hrs were testing times. We all tried to distract each other, my husband found the hospital food to be bad, he said how do people even eat this kind of food. In the tense situation we were, the husband suddenly blurted out ” I want to have biryani”, all of us looked at him and started laughing. Its good to lighten up in such moments. 8 hrs later the surgeon operating, came out and told us the surgery was a success. It was such a sigh of relief.  Few hours later each one of us got to see Uncle in the ICU. When I saw him there lying in a sedative state, I didn’t like it. I’ve always seen him with a smile on his face, to see him in pain was really hard on all of us I guess.

We retired back to our room and were relaxed that now he should be well out on the road to recovery. After a few hours the surgeon called us and told us there was some complication and they may have to reoperate. Our hearts sank, all of us had the same question”Why, what could have gone wrong now”. We had to be strong. At that moment I kept telling myself “All will be well”. This kept me going and helped me stay put. The whole night was a testing time. Uncle’s condition stabilised over the night and he started getting better. Few days post surgery when he started recovering slowly and had his trademark smile, it was a ray of hope for all of us.The surgeon said his recovery was remarkable, maybe because he’s such a positive and strong person. But at times, something has to go wrong when everything seems right. Due to medical negligence from the hospital staff Uncle’s recovery took a backstep. There were complications and he contracted an infection. The last few days have been insane and every day we only wished that things would fall into place. Today after a long time there was a green positive signal and Uncle’s condition is stabilising now. A hope that everything will be fine. We all live in HOPE don’t we. It’s still a long way till Uncle gets back on his feet but there is hope and positivity he will be fine.

At many instances I felt, would it help if I had blasted the nurse who was negligent. No, I don’t think so it would have only made me feel worst. I also want to mention, I have no anger on the nurse who was careless and negligent, I just wish and hope you don’t do this to any other patient. I hope you realise that life is precious and every patient that walks into your care has a family waiting for their wellbeing. I hope you realise that human life is a gift and it cannot be played around.

It’s really strange cuz as humans we all make mistakes, learn from our mistakes but in the medical field mistakes cannot happen, a mistake is unpardonable. Oh by the way I am a medical professional too and in the last 25days there wasn’t a single minute when I didn’t think “How I wish Indian Medical System” was far more better. Being on the other side of knowing everything has its setbacks as well, you need to be calm and composed.

I am writing this post sitting in the hospital and all I can think of is why was he made to go through all this?? But it also made me realise in such situations we need to stay positive and be strong. Family is strength and without the support of our families and friends we couldn’t have gone through this tough time.God has his own way of testing your inner strength. Don’t loose hope. We haven’t slept for almost 3 weeks now but it really didn’t matter to us. We only wanted Uncle to be fine.Life is full of ups and downs. Don’t give up, fight your battle and emerge a winner.Its still a long way till Uncle is back on his feet but we are positive he will be well.From here on its a long road to recovery for Uncle but I wish he gets back on his feet soon. I drew this doodle at the hospital, it gave me some kind of reassurance every time I looked at it.

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Like many of my readers know, I have taken upto running lately and its really strange but I have been wanting to put on my running shoes and go for a run in the last 3 weeks. I’ve actually missed Running. Strange know in the weirdest of situations you realise on the other good things you want to do in life. Life is weird that way, sometimes good,sometimes bad but nevertheless beautiful!!!

Get Well Soon Uncle!! I miss your Facebook Posts.

Love and Laughter always

8+6=86 and Counting!

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86 years ago, this day a STAR was born(atleast for me), my Grandfather my “SUPERSTAR”

When I spoke to him two days back, I said it’s your Birthday on Monday. He said ” Birthdays come and go and Wow, you remember”
I said everyone remembers and he laughed. My Grandad is an example of a person who believes ” Age is only a number”

He is

“Someone who is my Friend.
Someone who is my Guide.
Someone who is my HERO, apart from my Parents.
Someone whom I always look up to.
Someone who is my source of Inspiration everytime.
Someone whom I respect Immensely.
Someone with Silver strands in his hair and Gold in his heart”

He enjoys Pizzas and everytime I am in town, he finds ways to convince my Grandmom to let us go out and have a yummilicious Pizza Meal. Everytime I speak to anybody who was acquainted with my Granddad at some point of time in their lives, I can only hear admiration and immense gratitude for the person he is. At such times, I feel ” it’s such a blessing to be his Grandchild”

I find it really hard to put into words about people I really care about, maybe its the Love and Respect I have for them which cannot be put into mere words.

Happy B’Day Thatagaru and may you have a 100 more. I will take you on a Pizza date when I am in town next 🙂

Happy Birthday N – My Person

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Sometimes you have that person who may not be related to you by the family tree but is still family, someone you call “your person”, someone whom you call “your best friend”

We met at our graduate college orientation and the minute she knew I was from Mumbai too she jumped in excitement. She was talking like a dime to the dozen and in my head I was like “how much does she talk”.

I don’t know how we hit it off but in a matter of few weeks we became rock solid. Both of us were poles apart in personalities, she hated fashion I sweared by brands, she hated makeup I swore by MAC, she hated going out I was always out, she was the one with a blue-print brain and lets not talk about me. She slept diligently by 9 everyday and I was a night owl party hopping from one place to another. Yes, but there was one thing common anyone rubbed us on the wrong side we would give even ROCK competition and we never shyed away from speaking our minds. Like they say you may not be similar but still there is something that binds a relationship.

You’re “my person” because we are on the same team, we have our own language, because I know you will tell me what to do even if it is to shut the hell up, because even if you’re busy you will still do a tab check on me, you listen to all my crazy moments, you hear me complain about life and everything and still have my back, because we don’t have to say anything to understand each other, because family need not be blood related,  because only we understand what we do, because you are “YOU” and you’re “my person” no one else is.

Happy B’day N …. may all the candles you blow today bring you wonderful surprises all through the year and God bless always. I love you and miss you. Happiness and love always

Love and Laughter always

29 going on 19

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You are the chalk and I am the cheese. I don’t think we both can annoy anyone as much as we irritate each other but are still inseparable. We both would make the perfect endorsement for two dissimilar people who still make a great pack.At times I feel I am living with a kid, but I love it. You make every day of my life challenging, but I still love it. I go to the movies alone at times so that I can enjoy my bucket of popcorn in peace without having to hear how many calories I am consuming. Every time you forget the parking slot in the mall, I think “seriously”. Every time my hands go looking out for a bag of chips and you give me the stern look “THAT”. You’re a gym junkie and it makes me wonder what did I get myself into. I hate it how you’re right most of the times, but I still try to stand my ground. Every morning when you sit with your bottle of water and stare at the ceiling, I wonder what the hell is there on the top. You bring out the best and worst in me. You make me think being dumb is cool. You let me be “ME”. You love Batman, I love Alice in wonderland. I wonder what a mundane, boring life I would be leading if you were not around to bug me. You’re a 29 yr old going on 19, pun intended. You make life seem like a breath of fresh air. I know you love me more, but I will never admit it.You make life colorful.

Happy B’Day Maverick, let’s go drink it up and make it a blast. I wouldn’t have wished for life to be in any other way. You make it bombastic. May all the candles you blow today bring you the best all year around. I Love You. Soulmates for life. Go get your six pack now.

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Happy Holidays

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Dear Santa,

I love December and you know why. I get to eat yummilicious rum soaked plum cakes and endless bottles of sparkling wine. I have two wishes for this year, a bank balance that will never go empty ( sigh, I don’t have to work this hard then ) and a magic pill that will never make me grow fat ( I will never have to worry which diet to follow next then ). OkayThanksBye

Wishing you’ll a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year from the Mrs and Mr.

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Love and Laughter always

You’ve grown younger by a year!

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There are very few Women who inspire me in my Life one is my Mom and another one of them is my Aunt. We often joke that we are a crazy family. As a kid I always looked forward to the letters she wrote to me sitting 4000miles away. Thanks to whatsapp now I keep bugging her most of the time.

Jokes apart, there are a lot of things I’ve learnt from her in life (I’ve never told her this till date btw). Her value for education and to stand on one’s own feet inspires me to be an independant person every day. She makes me beleive that life isn’t a bed of roses and only hardwork is the key to being successful in everything we do. Her nononsense attitude has taught me not to take anything for granted. Lastly and most importantly I’ve learnt to value education and make the best of it from her.

She inspires me every single day the last being when she did an MBA when I was pursuing mine. In my head I was like oh my gosh what do I need to study next if my aunt is studying at this rate. Today she grows another year younger, I beleive age is a number and as you celebrate your birthday every year you grow younger by a year. Happy B’day Pinny, may you have the best year ahead and keep inspiring everyone around you. (Damn I never knew it would be this tough to write about you 😉 )

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Ps: These doodles are a creation of my not so overly talent but still!

Love and Laughter always

And they lived happily ever after

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If it weren’t for marriages, men would spend the rest of their lives thinking they are a perfect 10 with no flaws. Women are like reality checks for men.Weddings are fun and a lot of work but who said fairytale wedding’s don’t exist. I had one myself! The husband must be thinking only I know how it is after marriage.

At my wedding he said ” I want to have a fairytale wedding like A and U” “I want to fall in love”  And he did.

So the “he” here is one of my closest and he’s getting married very very soon, hence the excitement ( I think I am more excited than the couple)

A happy marriage is a give and take affair, so my dear P don’t be afraid to swipe K”s credit cards as much as you please to.He being a very generous soul, don’t hesitate to demand for the occasional diamonds n Chanel bags.

Jokes apart I am really excited and happy for you guys. Having known K, all I can say is you’re a very lucky girl P he sure will treat you like a Princess. God bless you guys with all the happiness and I can’t wait to be a part of your fairytale wedding.

Btw K is the groom here and P is the bride. We don’t reveal names on my blog as we are too shy of the limelight!

K are you going to be photographing you’re own wedding too??

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That’s a lil doodle I created for you”ll. I am no expert so please bear with it!

Love and Laughter always

Yayyy you’re officially an Adult, Happy 18th

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Now before you start wondering if those are mine, let me put you out of your confusion those newborn booties belonged to my baby bro 18 years ago . Wow that makes him sound so big!

Today my not so “lil” bro turns 18 years. Time flies super fast. Happy B’day lil T ( we don’t disclose names on my blog for obvious reasons), you’re finally 18 now so no more fake ids and hiding ur age. You’re officially an adult today and you’re legally bound to do everything you’ve been doing since you were 15 🙂

So my dear lil bro be prepared to hear a lot of “Now you’re 18, an adult and you got to be sensible and  mature, the works”, all I can say is advice is free so take it if you want or push it out from the other ear. These are the best years of your life so make the most of it. Have fun and God bless you with all the happiness, best of health and success always.

Your Big Sis

Love and Laughter always