Category Archives: judge

Talk To The Hand!!!

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If you were given a chance to jot down 3 irritating questions you’ve ever been asked or come across, what would they be?

Let me start by writing down mine!!

1. Oh, you’re married for 3 years now and still no baby?? Any fertility issues?

My Dhamakedaar reply – Seriously, if I have been married for 3 years or for 10 years, I will decide when I want to have a child or if I want to have one at all. If you’re so concerned, please go have another child yourself. And NO, I have no fertility issues, I am good to have an entire cricket team.

2. You wear no signs that show that you’re married, no sindoor, no mangalsutra and blah blah blah.

My Dhamakedaar reply – Just because I am married, I need not hold a placard saying so. My husband is cool the way I am, I am totally okay the way I am, I don’t see why you should have a problem.

3. Oh, you’re working and scanning me from top to toe.

My Dhamakedaar reply -I pay my own bills unlike you.I lead an extravagant lifestyle, so to buy my Chanel’s and Burberry’s I need to work my ass off.

These are just a few of the most craziest questions I’ve been asked over time. All I want to say is, people will always come up with insane stuff, they love to talk but I don’t care a damn. I am not living for the people, I live for myself. I absolutely have no problem with the way I live my life or my choices, so you should not be too. You have a problem just STAY AWAY.

Why so “JUDGEMENTAL”

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Like it or not we are judged all the time and not only are we victims, we equally participate in judging others. We are under scrutiny anytime, anywhere for how we look, how we dress, how we move around, about our habits and the list is endless. We end up wasting so much time discussing about another persons personality and lifestyle choices. I ask, is it necessary??

So the other day someone had posted this really discriminating picture on their SM page about how there is a certain section of children who apparently “aren’t well behaved” and those who are “so called well-behaved”. The so called “not well-behaved” children belonged to a “social group” that did drugs, drank alcohol, got pregnant, etc. etc. Pretty sure you might have guessed who falls under the “well-behaved” category by now, so called geeks of course. Kudos to those whole felt their kith and kin didn’t fall under the “not well behaved category” and made them look like “Irresponsible People”

What really struck the chord for me was how can people be so judgmental. Why are people/kids/teenagers who consume alcohol or maybe smoke a cigarette or have a child out of wedlock considered unfit in the community?? Why are they considered “BAD PEOPLE” to hang out with. Who are we to judge anybody?? I feel nobody has the right to judge anyone other than “GOD”

Like the famous saying goes around “Do not judge a book by its cover” I would say do not judge or categorize a person by his/her habits/actions. Behind every smile is a hidden story. Each and every one of us have our own stories, the ups and downs in life, we all learn to deal with our situations differently. A person might smoke or do drugs, but he/she might be a better human being than you. They might be smarter or talented than you are. So why judge???

A person might have taken up drugs or alcohol for reasons best known to them. Are they hurting you in the process? No, then just take a chill pill move on with your life let them lead theirs. In todays hard for time pressed life we all need to destress in some way or the other. Some of us may take up a dancing class, some of us may workout, some of us may laze around watching TV, some of us may drink and some of us may do drugs. You may suck at dancing, you may not have good table manners, so am I allowed to tag you as an “unfit or bad” person just because you cannot dance or can’t eat properly at a dinner table?? No right, so how does that make a person who smokes or does drugs bad? You have your own way of de-stressing, others have their own way. It may not fall in your category of ” the best things to do to unwind” but it also doesn’t give you a right to “judge” another persons actions. PERIOD.

The beauty of life is nobody is perfect and nobody is alike. We all have our flaws and brownie points. I would like to leave you with a thought to ponder on!!!

“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Why do we judge people?

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Few days back my friend and myself were having a conversation and she was telling me as to how bogged down she was by people judging her all the time. I have seen in many of my conversations with people around and observations in surroundings we tend to make judgments of people by their appearance, behaviour, attitude, habits et al.

For e.g. you are sitting in a coffee shop and there is a group of friends sitting in the next table and the girl in the group is loud, she speaks loudly and laughs loudly. The next minute you know you’re judging the person saying ‘omg she doesn’t have manners’

I have seen in many cases when you see a girl talking to a boy we assume it’s her boyfriend. We know of somebody who smokes or drinks we tag them as ‘cultureless’. A person loves socializing and partying but is tagged as a person who has no life. A girl is seen around in short clothes and she is judged as being too westernized. A guy straightens his hair or has spiked hair; he is tagged as a punk. There are so many instances I can go on with.

The question remains why do we judge people? If you smoke or drink it doesn’t make you a bad person and if you don’t it doesn’t make you a saint either. The difference lies in the choices we make. But that does not give anybody the right to judge you and tag you as a so n so in society. We all have the rights to make our own choices. We choose the path we want to walk on. It’s our decision and I am sure each and every individual is proud of the choice and decisions they make in life.

We are nobody to judge a person. We cannot and we shouldn’t. Each one of us are different we are born and raised among different cultures and traditions. Due to different upbringings and exposures in life we tend to be different individuals with diversifying personalities and behavior patterns.

Just because you don’t like doing a particular thing it does not give you the right to stop somebody else from doing it and judging them. Each to his own. We should not judge people but indeed accept them the way they are. Would you like it if somebody comes up to you and says ‘you’re a moron even without knowing you’? No, definitely not you would hate it and would question the person as to how can they judge you without even knowing you. this applies to any other individual as well how can we judge them without knowing them and even if we know the person we still cannot judge them, as simple as that.

Imagine being monitored about your activities your each and every move and action is being recorded how would you feel? I would feel suffocated and miserable, I would scream to have my own space. I guess even a person who is being judged feels the same.

Learn to accept a person as they are, nobody is lesser or superior and nobody is good or bad. I have been taught since a kid by my parents not to judge or compare people and today I can’t stand it when somebody judges me or any other person for that matter. You are what you are and nobody can change that, you don’t like it that’s your headache deal with it. I don’t judge people I accept them the way they are 🙂