Monthly Archives: August 2012

Why do we judge people?

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Few days back my friend and myself were having a conversation and she was telling me as to how bogged down she was by people judging her all the time. I have seen in many of my conversations with people around and observations in surroundings we tend to make judgments of people by their appearance, behaviour, attitude, habits et al.

For e.g. you are sitting in a coffee shop and there is a group of friends sitting in the next table and the girl in the group is loud, she speaks loudly and laughs loudly. The next minute you know you’re judging the person saying ‘omg she doesn’t have manners’

I have seen in many cases when you see a girl talking to a boy we assume it’s her boyfriend. We know of somebody who smokes or drinks we tag them as ‘cultureless’. A person loves socializing and partying but is tagged as a person who has no life. A girl is seen around in short clothes and she is judged as being too westernized. A guy straightens his hair or has spiked hair; he is tagged as a punk. There are so many instances I can go on with.

The question remains why do we judge people? If you smoke or drink it doesn’t make you a bad person and if you don’t it doesn’t make you a saint either. The difference lies in the choices we make. But that does not give anybody the right to judge you and tag you as a so n so in society. We all have the rights to make our own choices. We choose the path we want to walk on. It’s our decision and I am sure each and every individual is proud of the choice and decisions they make in life.

We are nobody to judge a person. We cannot and we shouldn’t. Each one of us are different we are born and raised among different cultures and traditions. Due to different upbringings and exposures in life we tend to be different individuals with diversifying personalities and behavior patterns.

Just because you don’t like doing a particular thing it does not give you the right to stop somebody else from doing it and judging them. Each to his own. We should not judge people but indeed accept them the way they are. Would you like it if somebody comes up to you and says ‘you’re a moron even without knowing you’? No, definitely not you would hate it and would question the person as to how can they judge you without even knowing you. this applies to any other individual as well how can we judge them without knowing them and even if we know the person we still cannot judge them, as simple as that.

Imagine being monitored about your activities your each and every move and action is being recorded how would you feel? I would feel suffocated and miserable, I would scream to have my own space. I guess even a person who is being judged feels the same.

Learn to accept a person as they are, nobody is lesser or superior and nobody is good or bad. I have been taught since a kid by my parents not to judge or compare people and today I can’t stand it when somebody judges me or any other person for that matter. You are what you are and nobody can change that, you don’t like it that’s your headache deal with it. I don’t judge people I accept them the way they are 🙂

The Mirror Test

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Apart from looking into the mirror to check how fat we look or if the eyeliner is smudged or if the hair gel has been set properly do we ever look at mirror just like that? Do we look into the mirror at least once a day n look at our mirror image? Do we tell ourselves we are beautiful and give yourself a nice pat on the back?

To be honest many people find it very difficult to even look at their face in the mirror leave alone telling themselves they are beautiful. Why do we find it so difficult to look into the mirror? Why do we find it so hard to tell ourselves ‘Yes we are worth it and we are beautiful people’?

I have been following this ritual for many years now after being taught about this in a workshop. Everyday in the morning I look into the mirror for 10 minutes not to complain about my flaws but to appreciate what I have. It makes me feel good from within. If you don’t love yourself how can we expect others to love us? If we think we are the ugliest beings on mother earth but want everybody to think that you are the most beautiful person doesn’t work right? You need to feel nice about yourself in order to want others like you. So look into the mirror everyday, spend a couple of minutes and tell yourself you are the ‘most beautiful person’

In my eyes we are all beautiful people and each of us are unique in our own way. The word ugly and bad do not exist in my world 🙂

The power of affirmations

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Do affirmations really work? Whenever I tell the husband if you want to achieve anything in life keep writing it down till you achieve it. He used to laugh it off saying what rubbish such things don’t work. Till lately when he tried doing it and it actually worked. And he said voila it’s a miracle 🙂

 But let’s get things clear first and understand how this whole process works. Imagine you want to go study at one of the top management schools and you write down your thoughts about going there for a few days and forget about it. Don’t expect miracles to happen that by just writing your thoughts for a few times will not get you to your favorite B-school.

 

This is how it works, when you write you actually feel the urge to get closer to your aspirations. It gives you a sense of direction and you feel the need to fulfill your goal. You work towards your goal and you want to make sure it is turned into reality. It helps keep you motivated and though at times it may be time-consuming never give up keep writing and penning down your thoughts. Eventually you will get what you achieve. Try it out for yourself it has worked like miracles for me and I still continue to affirm every day.